


Cold

by SeraGabriel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-21
Updated: 2012-07-19
Packaged: 2017-11-08 05:24:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/439625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeraGabriel/pseuds/SeraGabriel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Dean take a vacation. Their dreams aren't helping...</p><p> </p><p>Originally was a one shot and built upon it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First story I ever wrote for Supernatural a few years back. Please forgive the writing and OOC boys 

'COLD'

'No.'

Sam started to wake up slowly. The fogginess of sleep was still clinging to the edges of his mind, dulling his senses. He thought he heard a voice, or perhaps it was just another dream. He had those often. Often enough to learn to ignore them, but this time it seemed different. The voice seemed real.

'Please.'

His head whipped around to the figure on the bed next to him. Dean. He hastily threw back the covers of the small motel bed and got up. He crossed the small distance separating the two beds in less than a second and stood in front of his sleeping brother. His dark eyes scanned his brother's body swiftly, checking for any signs of injury or distress. But nothing seemed to be wrong.

They had just finished a hunt less than seven hours ago and had decided to stop at the run down motel for some much needed shut eye. It was just a simple salt and burn. A poltergeist had been terrorizing a young newlywed couple. It turned out to be the wife's ex who had committed suicide in the name of love and was now taking it out on the couple. It had been easy to salt and burn the bones. A heck of a lot easier compared to all the angel crap they had been dealing with lately. But not so easy as to get away without being thrown into a couple of walls before leaving.

But being covered in bruises and scars was nothing new to them in this life they had led, so that shouldn't be what was causing his brother to moan so piteously. Sam sat on the edge of his brother's bed and gently touched his shoulder. The same shoulder that was covered with the mark of Castiel. The angel who had saved Dean. The angel who did the one thing Sam hadn't been able to do.

Gritting his teeth he gripped his brother's shoulder a little harder and gave a firm shake. Dean started to stir but was still asleep. Still dreaming.

Dean was back there. Back in this place of continuous torture and pain. Stuck in an ever constant loop of death and screams. Looping over and over again. Think you reached the end of the disk? Nope. Just hit replay. Over and over and over.

Except it wasn't ever the same. Not really.

There is comfort in balance. Safety in stability. Normalcy breeds contentment. Even if the norm for you is pain, death, and hate. So even those in Hell had learned to be creative. Always changing up the pace. Stop. Go. Slow Down. Speed up. Dean was never sure if he was being starved or filled until bursting. HE could have been drowning in water for all he knew, but at the same time all he would feel would be the sensation of falling.

That was a personal favorite of his torturers. Falling. Never sure of when he would hit the ground and go splat. The panic always riding his body never letting him relax his tense muscles, tears streaming from his eyes. In a way it was a relief when he was finally allowed to die. Again.

Dean smiled grimly in his state of dreaming. Being burned alive seemed to be the only thing that people got right when talking of Hell. And they weren't even close to the truth of how horrible it really was. When most people spoke of Hell it was always fire, and brimstone. A lake of fire. Flames licking at your feet, ash clogging the atmosphere so completely that you are unable to draw a breath. Lava and the scent of sulphur permeating the air around you. Screams of those who are burning up, never dying. Still alive when your bones split and turned to dust, just like those who he used to hunt. Yeah, that was Hell.

But there were so many more aspects of it that people had never seemed to consider. He was stuck in of those scenarios now. And he was cold.

Freezing. Frigid. Frost bitten. Hypothermic. And he knew he would never be warm again.

In this frozen tundra of a wasteland he was positive that he was the only living being. His heart was beating a much slower rhythm than usual. It was basically flat lining. But he didn't care. Not really. Because all he wanted was to be warm. He would even trade this landscape for the fire and brimstone.

There wasn't any snow.

He found that odd. Shouldn't a place as freaking cold as this have snow? Just like that time in Michigan when he and Sammy had been celebrating his 'final' Christmas there had been snow eventually. Of course that only after they had killed the pagan gods who had been eating a few happy holiday goers as a little early Christmas gift to themselves, but who really stressed the details today anyway?

Plop.

Oh look. One of his blackened frost bitten fingers had fallen off. Ow. He could feel that. He shouldn't be able to feel that. If he was that cold then his whole body should be numb. That was one of the things that seriously sucked about Hell. Nature never followed the rules.

So. Cold.

He wished he was warm. Just a little bit.

The arm beneath Sam's arm started to shake. At first he thought that maybe Dean was starting to wake up.

'Dean.'

But he received no answer. Sam frowned. His brother was the lightest sleeper that he knew off. He made the mistake when he was ten years old of trying to sneak into Dean's bed after he had had a bad dream. He still had a pale white scar on his arm from where Dean had slashed before he was fully awake. So Dean not waking up, arms swinging, was disturbing.

Sam leaned over his brother a bit more and gripped both arms now.

'Dean!'

His whisper was harsh but not overly loud. But in the end it did the trick. Dean shot up chest heaving as he tried to gasp in lungfuls of air. His moss green eyes were round and anxious. He looked everywhere sketchily, as if the very shadows cast by him and Sam would hurt him.

Sam felt the clammy skin on Dean's back and noticed the sheen of sweat that covered his entire body. His hand lay flat against his back, trying to rub soothing circles into his tense muscles Sam couldn't help but notice how fast his brother's heart was beating. A minute passed of them just sitting there. Sam comforting his brother and Dean trying to calm the freak down.

'Sammy?'

Dean's voice broke through the silence that had encompassed them and restored Sam's relief at his brother waking up.'

'Yeah, Dean, I'm here.'

Dean let out a sob of relief that he tried to muffle. Sammy. The motel. Here. He was here beside Sammy. And it wasn't a dream. It was real. Hell was in his past. He didn't have to go back, and he didn't have leave Sammy again. He was so happy right now that he could hardly stand it. Even on the edges of his nightmare he was able to have hope all because of his little brother.

'Sammy?'

'Yeah?'

Sam heard the question in his brother's voice and had to grin. His brother always did sound like a four year old when he wanted to ask something. His innocence that he had lost long ago would always shine through in those moments.

'I'm cold.'

Dean hated to ask anybody for anything. He was raised to be self sufficient. Especially when it came to his brother. He was supposed to take care of Sammy. He bit his lip after saying Sam's name out loud. He glanced towards the bed and then back at Sam, a question and a plead all in one glance. Hope coursed through him as Sam's face lit up.

'Scootch over.'

Sam happily lifted the covers and slid in next to Dean His body molding perfectly to fit his big brother's. Sam had worn his customary t-shirt and boxers to bed but Dean had been to tired to do much else but strip before getting into bed, so he was only clad in his underwear. And even though Dean shivering with cold was not something that made Sam happy, a half naked Dean more than made up for that fact.

He quickly draped his large arm across Dean's chest and pulled him against him tight. He smiled slightly when he heard Dean mummer, 'Warmth.'

'Sam nuzzled the back of Dean's neck, his nose being tickled by the dark blond strands of his brother's hair. Even in the moonlight you could see the goldenness of his skins, the smattering of freckles across his perfectly shaped nose. And his lips. Gol, Dean's lips were so full, and pouty, even now when they were pulled tight over his chattering teeth.

'What's wrong Dean?'

'Nothing Sammy. Its just freakin cold.'

Sam looked at the dormant air-conditioning unit dubiously. HE then glanced at the full moon shining brightly on the Arizona desert outside.

'Dude, it like seventy degrees outside.'

'Yeah well, I'm freezing.'

Sam was quiet for a moment, deciding whether or not to call Dean out on, what he was sure a lie.

'I heard you Dean.'

Dean stiffened immediately. Shoot. What did he say? He never had been prone to sleep talking before but lately he had let a few murmurings get past his shields. He didn't want that. Didn't wasn't to burden Sammy like that. Didn't want Sammy to know.

'Heard what?'

'You. Moaning. Saying 'please', saying 'no'. You were dreaming about Hell, Dean.'

'Shut up Sam.'

Sam only tightened his grip on his brother. 'No, Dean. I'm not going to shut up. You've been dreaming about hell for months now. And I have kept quiet, thinking it was going to get better. But its not. Its only been getting worse. You need to get this off your chest or its going to destroy you.'

Dean was in a dilemma. While he immensely enjoyed having Sammy at his back providing much appreciated body heat, the 'lets get Dean to spill his guts', attitude was a little off putting. He knew if he kept silent that Sammy might let it go. But surprisingly he didn't want to keep it in this time. It wasn't one of the worst flashbacks he ever had, and he might even get something in return if he played his cards right.

'I was cold.' Dean began. 'Like, extremely cold. One thing about Hell it's not all lava and fire and sulfur down there Sam. It's cold too. Like really really cold. You get hypothermia and frostbite and you never get numb. You just get frozen; the temperatures get so low that even your blood freezes solid. But you can't find anything to warm you up. I don't know. I think it was just that that I was dreaming about.'

Sam couldn't help the tears that pooled in his eyes. Dean finally was starting to open up, but still. The way he told him his dream, about Hell, so dead. It was sad. He sounded so accepting of the horrors that had been afflicted upon him. He hadn't deserved that, hadn't deserved Hell.

'I'm sorry.'

'S'not your fault.'

Sam gulped. Yeah, it was. If only he hadn't been a naïve, compassionate fool, and killed Jake, then Dean wouldn't have had to go through any of this. Wouldn't have sold his soul.

Dean felt the tremors controlling his body start to cease, his core body temperature staring to rise once again. His Sammy was doing a good job as a blanket.

'I am sorry, though.'

Dean sighed. Didn't Sam get it? This was nothing. Nothing to what he would have been if Sam had remained dead.

'You shouldn't be.'

Dean was staring to warm up, but not fast enough. He was still really cold. But he had an idea of how to get his body temperature up.

'Sammy?'

'Yeah Dean?'

'Kiss me.'

'Sam needed no further invitation than that. He quickly found his brother's lips and latched onto them with a ferocity that surprised the both of them. Sure they had done this before but the sensation of kissing Dean would never fade or get old. Sam was sure of that. Their teeth clacked together as both tried to take even more of the other in. Sam's tongue swiped across Dean's lower, pouty lip, asking for entrance. Dean happily obliged, open his mouth, letting Sam take control of the kiss. Because even though he was the older one, and, he was sure of it, the more masculine of the two, he could never deny his Sammy anything.

Dean's hand snaked around Sam's neck pulling him down closer, curling his fingers into the soft tresses of his hair. Sam was on top him and resting all of his weight on his forearms so he wouldn't crush his big brother. But Dean didn't care. He needed more contact, darn it! More heat. He used his other hand to knock Sam off in the middle of their kiss and turn him on his back. He quickly straddled Sam's waist and grinned down at him wickedly.

'Dean?'

'You're going to slow.' He shrugged his shoulders as if that made sense, and of course in Dean logic, it does. He hungrily pounced onto Sam, making contact between their bodies, not leaving out an inch. Sam was sweating at this point and didn't mind it when Dean's hands gripped the hem of his shirt, exposing his abs little by little. His stomach tensed a little underneath Dean's splayed hand. Dean seemed to chuckle at this a bit.

'Forgot you were ticklish.'

He quickly discarded Sam's shirt and threw across the room into some little forgotten corner.

'That's better.' Dean quickly took in the sight of his little brother's body. He was panting from the lack of oxygen that all their kissing had caused and was covered in fine sheen of sweat. His lips were swollen and his cheeks were flushed. Sam was no longer the skinny boy he had picked up from Stanford a few years ago. His shoulders had broadened and he had filled in considerably. All the hunts they had done had given him the perfect body. He was just so freaking perfect.

He hesitantly traced his fingers down Sam's broad shoulders across his chest and over those sculpted abs that quivered underneath his touch.

'What's the matter big brother? Got cold feet?'

Sam was smirking at him for going slow for a change but Dean didn't care. He wanted to take his time. Wanted to engrave every image of Sam onto his brain. Every sight, every smell, every taste, and every touch. His fingers stopped at the waistband of Sam's boxers.

Well that's enough lingering he decided. Off with those pants! He gripped the elastic waistband in his fingers and ripped them off in one motion.

'How's that for cold feet, little brother?'

Sam's hazel eyes darkened with lust. He sat up forcefully and gripped Dean's head and brought His mouth down over his own. He forcefully kissed Dean, trying to drag up every pent up emotion and feeling he had for Dean since he knew he loved him. It was a good kiss.

Dean was startled a bit at first but then slowly smiled into the kiss. He felt good knowing he was the only that could make Sam lose control like this. As he was sitting on Sam's lap he felt a familiar bulge underneath him. The only one that could get that type of reaction out of him.

'Why, Sammy, are you carrying a gun on you or are you just happy to see me?'

Sam only growled in response and flipped them over reversing their positions. Dean was on his back again and could clearly see Sam's cock standing at full attention. He looked at Sam's straining erection and then back at his face.

'I take it you are happy to see me.'

Sam grinned wickedly and pressed his palm flat against Dean's clothed bulge.

'I could say the same for you.'

Dean gasped at the touch and involuntarily arched his back, lifting his hips off of the mattress trying to get more contact. But Sam had taken away his hand and was languidly running it up his side, his long deft fingers barely touching his ribcage. He was making him go insane. Touching him but not touching him enough. It wasn't fair. He needed friction!

Sam caught the mischievous grin flit across Dean's face a split second before his brother s hips ground into his. His brother's clothed erection and his own rubbed against each other with the most incredibly pleasurable friction. Both closed their eyes in pure pleasure.

'That's…'

'Amazing?' Sam finished for him.

'Yeah.'

'Well, then. Why did we stop?'

'Good question.'

Sam immediately lowered his hips and ground their bulges together. Never stopping the delicious contact. Dean gasped at the sensation.

'Like that big brother?'

'Y-yeah.'

' Try this then.'

Sam reached his hand down Dean's shorts and grabbed the long swollen shaft in his hand. It was hard and Sam could tell, already dripping with pre-come. Sam flicked his thumb lightly over the slit of Dean's head. Dean's back arched almost painfully as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through him Suddenly Sam's hand stopped. He frantically tried to continue the sensations by thrusting his hips into Sams loose fist.

'Why did you stop?'

'You'll see.'

Dean felt his boxers being pulled off and hastily lifted his hips in an effort to help. They were soon off and finally both boy's naked bodies were pressed completely upon one another's . Nothing was between except their breath. They both took a minute enjoying the completeness they both had in this simple act of having no boundaries between. But they souldn't vey much longer without having to do something about it.

Sam lowered himself against Dean until both of their cocks were touching. He frimly grasped both of them together in his hand and slowly started to stroke them both. The pace he set was slow and languid at first but started to soon pick up speed. He felt Dean's hips start to thrust and he took it as a sign to pick up the pace. He brushed the rough pad of his the thumb across the overly sensitive heads. He felt Dean's breath against the side of his face and the whispers of his name being said a like achant.

Sammy. Sammy. Sammy.

Dean could tell Sammy was getting close, he wasn't that far from it either. But he didn't want Sam to do all the work. SO he put his hand over Sam's hand and helped him along. They stroked themselves in a rhythm. But that pace was soon lost as they started to move faster and faster, their brath coming in shorter pants. They were close. So close. He locked eyes with his Sammy secondsbefore he felt the blinding white hot pleasure coursing through his veins. And as he came, he said Sam's name, just as he heard Sammy calling his.

Afterwards as they both lay there in their motel bed, the moonlight peeking in through the cheap curtains, they wrapped a blankets around themselves.

'Hey, Sammy?'

'Yeah Dean?'

'I'm not cold anymore.'


	2. Chapter 2

'Sam?'

Sam was in the most comfortable place, following the most pleasant dream. IN his dream he was holding his older brother in his arms all warm and safe. They loved each other and showed their love for one another physically too. They were both brothers and lovers. And Sam couldn't have been happier.

'Sam!'

No. He didn't want to wake up. He finally had everything he ever wanted. Dean. He had Dean. All of him. His heart. Please, he begged himself, don't wake up. But the incessant shaking of his shoulder finally did the trick and he wearily opened his eyes.

Dean was standing in front of his bed, fully dressed and ready to go. No signs of nightmares or….other extracurricular activities that he could find.

'Come one dude, get up. I'm starving.'

'Hmm? Oh, yeah. Uh, one second.'

Damn. Sam really wished he were still asleep. He was actually slightly amazed at what his brain could come up with when he was horny and his brother was in close proximity. The whole, "I'm cold, Sammy,' talk was a real turn on, and very hot. Man, the images he conjured up were just…amazing. A shame people needed to be awake to function in real life.

But still he would rather have these dreams than none at all, because it was the only way he could get close to Dean. His big brother had always been there for him, had watched over him, and had basically raised him. And he loved his big brother, as a brother. Well, he had at first, but then something seemed to change. He wasn't even sure what had changed exactly.

Maybe it was his teenage hormones? And then the feelings just decided to linger? Because all of this started when Sam was seventeen, this….infatuation. And it never went away, never stopped.

He could still remember so clearly when it hit him that he was in love with his brother. They were hunting a werewolf up in Maine. Dad had gone ahead to kill its mate and he and Dean were supposed to stay in the clearing and wait for him to get back. They of course were stocked up on silver bullets but still the thing had hit them so fast and so hard.

Whoosh and he had hit the tree. He heard his brother call out his name, SAMMY! He had tried to answer back, but all of the breath had been knocked from his lungs after the impact. Dean tried to reach him but he was barreled over by the enraged werewolf.

He watched helplessly as his brother got torn apart trying to save him, to protect him. Dean would try and put up his arms in defense but they were knocked away so easily, as if he were a new born instead of a twenty one year old. Time and time again he got hit, was bruised and was bleeding. It seemed to go on forever, and in Sam's mind he thought it would never end.

BANG!

A shot had rung out and there stood their father with a shotgun still smoking. The werewolf slumped forward and fell to the ground right next to Dean. Their father quickly raced over to Dean but he was still coherent enough to gesture towards Sam, saying go help him. Help him!

When he next closed his eyes he hadn't woken up for two days. The sight that had greeted him had been his brother sitting next to his bed asleep, his brows creasing in worry even in unconsciousness. He reached out and gently touched his brother's soft hair. As always Dean had been a light sleeper and had immediately awakened a smile lighting up his eyes at seeing his brother awake.

'Why did you do it?' He whispered, his voice raspy from disuse.

'Do what?' Dean looked honestly confused , his head cocked to one side.

'Jump in front of me like that. You could have gotten killed!'

'But if I hadn't you might have gotten killed.'

'Damn it Dean! You have got to stop doing this!'

'What am I doing?'

'Sacrificing yourself! If you don't stop then one day you'll end up dead!'

' As long as I save you in the process then I don't care.'

Sam cried then. He cried a long time while his brother sat there with him, rubbing his back. He cried for his stupid, idiotic, selfless brother, who didn't seem to care about himself at all.

And it was then that he knew what he felt for his brother wasn't what one would call brotherly affection. It was something much more than that. He was certain of it. It also was made much more certain when he saw Dean coming out of a broom closet with a candy striper clothes all askew, and he wished he could have traded places with her.

'Sammy?'

Sam jerked in surprise. Dean's face was right in front of his. When did he get so close?

'Dude, you were so spacing out.' Dean smirked suddenly. 'You weren't thinking about that dream you had last night were you?'

All the blood drained from Sam's face. No. He didn't-he couldn't….Dean couldn't have known what he was dreaming about.

'W-what dream?'

'Dude come on. You sounded like you had Angelina Jolie, Pamela Anderson, and all the playboy bunnies in a pudding fight on your bed.'

'Did not!' He couldn't help the blush rising in his cheeks. He was so not that vocal.

'Oh yes, you did. Let's if I remember correctly,' Dean cleared his throat dramatically and his voice took on a breathless quality. 'Oh, more, harder, more, oh gol, you're beautiful, ah, more, more, more, MORE!'

Wow. Dean was laughing, but that had to be the hottest thing that Sam had ever heard since he possessed ears.

'Seriously man, you are gonna have to give me the details later.'

'Shut up,' Sam mumbled.

'Well, anyways you should get ready; I'm hungry and need bacon.'

'You and your bacon.'

'It's better than you and your salads. You eat so much green stuff I'm surprised you weren't born a plant.'

'Okay. Number one: that's biologically impossible. And point number two that would be cannibalism.'

Dean shrugged his shoulders, 'We've run into cannibals before.'

'That's not the point. The point is that humans aren't plants so I can darn well eat as much lettuce as I want.'

'Uh huh…..I think I will start calling you the jolly green giant.'

'You do that and I will retaliate.'

'Oooohhh, scary.'

'Jerk.'

'Bitch.'

'So what are we looking at?'

'Dude, give me a second would ya? We just finished a job last night.' Sam scanned the web lazily trying to catch anything interesting but nothing seemed to pop up.

'So? Ghosts to kill, people to save. It's not exactly a job that you can take a vacation from. So where to?'

'Why not?' Sam lifted his eyebrow in question.

'Why not what?' Dean's mouth was full of bacon from his double stacked cheddar explosion cheese burger.

'Why not take a vacation?'

'Uh, because when we take a vacation….people die?'

'Come on. Firefighters and police officers take vacations all the time and you don't see any more people dying because of it.'

'There are a lot more policemen and firefighters in the world Sam. Us hunters? Not so many.'

'But still man, when have ever taken a vacation?'

'Never. And we aren't going to.'

'Dean, we just got done with a hunt. I've looked all over the internet, and scoured all the papers, there's nothing going on right now. I think we have hit a dry spell.'

Dean groaned, and his brow creased in frustration. 'Ah, come on! There's nothing out there? Not a poltergeist or even a freaking chubacabra?'

'Nope. Nothing.'

'Well, keep looking!'

Dean shouted this last part causing the other diners to look over at their table. Dean ignored the curious stares by vigorously biting into his cheeseburger. Sam sheepishly raised his shoulders to those looking and then resorted to a death glare when some wouldn't stop. They quickly returned back to their meals.

'Uh, Dean?'

Dean just continued to eat his cheeseburger, when he was close to having nothing in his mouth he quickly stuffed his face again. He was starting to resemble a chipmunk, Sam thought, with his cheeks puffing out like he was storing nuts for the winter or something. Wow, did he just compare Dean to a chipmunk? That was a weird thought. If Dean were any animal he definitely be a…what kind of animal would Dean be?

'Hey Dean, if you were an animal what would you be?'

Dean started to choke on his burger and quickly reached for his glass of water. HE finally managed to breather again after clearing his airway and was laughing.

'Dude! What the heck? That was so random.' Dean was still laughing and it was a welcome change after his silence for the past several minutes.

'I don't know. Just wondering.'

Dean leaned back in chair and put his hands behind his head, stretching his back as he did so. He sighed and then looked at Sam. 'I don't know. What kind of animal would you be?'

'Uh, maybe a dolphin?'

'Pffffttt. A dolphin! Any animal to compare yourself to and you choose a fish?'

'Actually a dolphin is a mammal, and it also happens to be one of the smartest animals out there.'

'Wow. You chose it because it's smart?'

'Hey, you're the one who is always calling me geek boy.'

'You are a geek.'

'Shut up.'

'Anyways, I think I would be a tiger.'

'Pray tell why?'

'Cause…it's the eye of the tiger! It's the thrill of the fight! Rising up to the challenges of our RIVAAALLSS!' Dean didn't have the best singing voice but you could never say he didn't have enthusiasm.

'Alright, alright. You're a tiger.'

'Damn right I am.'

'So Dean…' Sam locked eyes with his big brother and prepared himself.

Dean held back a groan. Whenever Sam said that it was usually the start to a long conversation/discussion that would involve them talking about their feelings and problems and how to fix them. He licked his lips absently, a habit he acquired as child for when he was nervous.

Sam saw Dean lick his lips and lost his train of thought. What had he been about to ask? Did it matter? Oh, Gol, he did it again. Seriously, it had to be humanly impossible for a man to have such full and pink lips. And Dean licking his lips wasn't helping anybody anywhere. Okay, focus on something else. Anything but his lips he chided himself. His eyes he decided, I'll look at his eyes. Oh, big mistake. Big, big, big mistake. Once again, unfair. Dean's moss green eyes, eyes that were usually guarded and defensive to anyone but him were gazing at him with confusion. Those little crinkles at the corners of his eyes deepening ever so subtly. And man, those eyelashes would make a chick jealous.

'Sammy? You okay?'

'Sammy? I'm cold.'

Not helping! Darn his freaking dreams. Didn't they choose just freaking opportunistic times to pop up in his head.

'Yeah?' Gosh, was it his voice that was breaking like a thirteen year old boy's? It would fit. He was about as horny as one.

'You okay?'

'Yeah, uh yeah.' He let out a deep breath in attempt to cool himself off. 'Why?'

'Nothing, you were just looking at me really weird is all.'

'Oh, sorry, it's just..' Quick think of something. Anything. His mind was all jumbled after staring at Dean for so long, and didn't he just sound like a stalker?

'I'm worried about you.' Not exactly a lie. Dean was always on the top of his things to worry about list. Came with the territory.

'Why?' Why? Why indeed. Even though his excuse was made up on the spot, it was the truth. Dean had been going nonstop for the past three months. Hunt after hunt after hunt. The last time they had taken any semblance of a break was two months ago, and that was because Dean was in the hospital because of Alistair. SO when Sam had jokingly suggested a vacation he was half serious. Dean was dead tired, he could tell. And a vacation seemed just like what his big brother needed.

'Because you need to stop. Slow down. Take a freaking breather.'

'Like I said before there is no time to slow down.' Dean waved their waitress over and asked for their check. And of course he smiled flirtatiously at her before getting it.

Sam tried to contain his jealously at the simple act of a smile directed at someone other than him.

'I know. But right now there is nothing going on. Like I said. It's dead out there Dean. For whatever reason it's quiet and nothing is acting up. No werewolves, no rugarus..'

'Ha, love that word.'

'….nothing. So why not take advantage of that fact, huh?'

Dean was quiet for a long time. He got up and headed out to the Impala without a word, and of course Sam followed him. They both got into the beautiful car and sat there for a while. Finally Dean got out the keys and turned them in the ignition. The rumble of the Impala finally made a break into the silence between them.

'So, Sammy, you really want to go on a vacation?'


	3. Chapter 3

'Really? You wanted to go the beach.' Dean eyed some bikini clad girls that were walking by them but didn't really enjoy the view as much as he used to. There was seriously something wrong with him lately. He didn't feel like picking up chicks anymore and when he and Sam went out to eat he found he didn't have an appetite. That one was even weirder than the no chicks deal.

'What's wrong with the beach?' Sam and he were leaning against the hood of the Impala after Sam had pleaded to drive to their destination. And for some reason this time Dean just couldn't say no. He had reluctantly handed over his baby's keys. Then he and Sam had just taken off. Dean would ask repeatedly where they were going but Sam would just smile and remain quiet. It had been really annoying when an hour ago Sam had made him put on a blindfold. He had muttered kinky. Sam had told him to shut up, but he hadn't shouted it. Just said it really quietly, and for some reason it caused his heart to stutter.

'Nothing is wrong with the beach. Fact it's great. You got sun, booze and chicks. What more could I want? But seriously why did you choose it?'

'S-same reason?'

'Huh, I would have pegged as more of a log cabin, let's read the weekend away, type of person.'

'What? I'm not allowed to want to go to a popular vacation area?'

' Nah. Just wasn't really expecting it from you. Well then,' he clapped Sam on the shoulder, 'looks like my little Sammy is growing up. Finally gonna let that party animal out?'

Sam snorted, 'Not hardly.'

Dean grinned, 'I don't know man, I betcha I could make you come around.' He raised his eyebrows.

'I think I'm more in the mood of sitting around and swimming type of vacation.'

'Yeah, okay, and then when the sun goes down,' he leaned in close to Sam, and dang his baby brother smelled good. What was that? Eucalyptus? Seriously that was some good crap. He then lowered his voice huskily, '…the Winchesters come out to play.'

Sam shivered and Dean immediately became worried. He put a hand over Sam's forehead checking for a fever.

'Hey you okay? You're not getting sick are you? Damn, I knew you shouldn't have driven all night. It doesn't feel like you have one though. DO have chills? Do you feel headachy? Blurriness? Nausea?'

'Dude, slow down. I'm fine. Just had a shiver, that's all.'

Dean eyed his brother dubiously. Sam didn't have a fever but his cheeks were a little red. Almost like he was blushing.

'Well anyway. Let's go!' Dean took off his leather jacket and laid it reverently in the Impala's front seat and then just took off. He raced towards the water and then let out a loud laugh.

'Come on Samantha!'

Sam made his way over towards his big brother chuckling at his antics. He may be the younger Winchester but he would never be the most immature.

'Dean we gotta go check into a motel man.'

'Just a second Sam.'

Dean closed his eyes and just let the wind flow all around him. His bare feet were buried deep into the sand, warm on top and damp and cold at the bottom. He wriggled his toes trying to feel more of the sensation. Inhaling a deep breath of sea scented air finished the trick. It just felt so good to be standing there basking in the sun, next to his brother, and not a care in a world. Sam was right; a vacation was just what they needed.

He had really been against it at first. Really, really against it. After he had woken up in the hospital after his little run in with Alistair he had learned from Cas that Sam had been the one to kill him. Sam, his little brother, the one who used to beg for Lucky Charms, had killed a demon. The same demon that had spent thirty years in Hell torturing him. Using every weapon available to him to break him. Pain, memories, even truth.

He had been down under for four months, and it was really only at that moment that he had realized how much things had changed. Especially his brother. So when Sam wasn't aware Dean started to look at him. Scrutinizing. Memorizing. Trying to figure out the puzzle that his little brother had become. Used to be that he knew the kid inside and out. Heck, he probably used to know him even better than Sam knew himself.

But now there were holes, spaces, shadows, that Sam had created in their time apart. What was he really thinking when they talked? Was he lying or being himself? Dean found himself second guessing himself when it came to Sam more and more and it frustrated him to no end. So he started to try and pay even closer to Sam. Had committed every movement and mannerism of Sam's to memory. And it had helped a little bit at least.

He could tell you every shade of color in his hazel eyes. He could show you every freckle and mole on his body. Hey, when it came to two guys living in close quarters there wasn't ever really a chance for privacy. So he couldn't help but notice that Sam was truly no longer Sammy. Of course he would always be his Sammy, but the boy he once knew was gone. And in his place a man had taken his place. The skinny fresh faced boy of just a few years ago was now a well built hunter, capable of killing, and smart to a fault.

And that had scared him.

Well, not the fact that had Sam had changed, but the fact that he had noticed the change. Had noticed when his little brother came out of the shower with only a towel clinging to his lean hips. Had watched the excess water drip down his well sculpted chest and disappear into the absorbent fabric resting just above his hipbone. He shouldn't have noticed all the heads that turned as Sam walked by, men and women alike. He told himself he was just being protective when they sat in bars and he would glare at anyone that dared to approach his brother. He really shouldn't have noticed it when his brother would lean over his shoulder a little bit closer than necessary, and he had enjoyed the closeness rather than being annoyed at having his personal space invaded.

It made him feel weird, and he never did like not feeling like himself. So he hunted, and threw his entire being into it. If he hunted he could concentrate on that and nothing else. By focusing on a poltergeist or a zombie he could keep from examining his own feelings. So he buried them and pushed them so far down in himself that he couldn't feel them anymore. That's when the long string of hunts started.

He never let himself stop. As soon as one hunt was finished another one began. Sam seemed to be keeping up, but after two months of constant motion he felt even himself beginning to be stretched thin. When he would get up in the morning dark circles were beneath his eyes and even though he was by no means a pale person, he would tell that he was a few shades lighter. But he had to keep going had to keep pushing, because if he stopped he would have to face the truth.

He was feelings things that he shouldn't, about a person that was completely off limits.

That was the reason he initially panicked at the thought of some down time. Relaxation? Not hardly. Just more stress he was sure of it. Tension. Being in close proximity, and being hyper aware of Sam's every movement when he was distracted was bad enough as it is. But to have his undivided attention on Sam? Too much. Too close. Too dangerous.

But in the end he had agreed. Because it was Sam. And since when had ever been able to say no to Sam? So they were taking a freaking vacation. The least he could do was get so drunk and partied out at night that he would be to tired to notice every aspect of Sam's existence.

'Alright, little brother. Where to?'

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Okay. So will that be one king?' Dean groaned. Really why was it that almost every motel they had stopped at for the past month automatically assumed that they were a couple and simply not family? Or even just platonic friends for that matter. HE glanced at Sam sitting in the Impala. What were Sam's thoughts on all of this?

'Uh, no. Two queens please.' The young woman looked at him, and then glanced out at Sam in the car. She looked back at him and raised her eyebrows.

'What?' She tried not to smile but failed.

'Nothing. Here your keys sir.'

'Thanks.' He started to walk away but then turned around and headed back to the desk.

'No seriously what were you smiling about?'

'Well…no offense but I really thought you guys were a couple.'

Once again everyone seemed to assume that of them. 'Why? What is it about us that make people think we're together?'

'I'm assuming your friends right?'

Better agree to that than have to explain that it was his brother out there. So he nodded.

'Best friends?'

Dean had to smile at that. Of course Sam was his best friend. He had practically raised the kid, and with them moving around so much as children they hadn't really had anyone else to lean on. Besides the whole trust issue with him was only immune to his family. So, yeah, Sam was definitely his best friend.

'Yeah.'

'Well, I guess it's just because... because of the way you looked at him.'

Dean froze. Him? He had done something that made other people assume he and Sam was a couple? A look? A look that seemed to convey more than brotherly love? He was disgusted with himself. How could he do that? That was so wrong. And to his little brother? The one he was supposed to protect?

The girl saw the look of disgust and self loathing flit across the features of the handsome man before her. Uh oh. Had she hit a sensitive subject? She hoped not. Crap. This is what she got for speaking her mind again. Her mom always told her that she should censor what she said. Great. Now she was soo going to get fired.

'Um, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. Are you not gay?' Great. There she went again. Shut it woman! She screamed at herself.

'What? Uh..' Dean was not gay. He had never been with a man before. That's not to say that men hadn't hit on him before. He had an idea. Maybe that was it! Maybe he was actually gay and wasn't aware of it, so his body had latched onto Sam seeing as he was the only guy that was his age that was ever around. That had to be it. Suddenly a bright smile lit up his face.

'Wow. You know you just made something very clear to me. Thanks!'

The girl shook her head in wonderment as the very good looking guy walked out of there. She was confused but didn't care because she wasn't going to get fired.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Man, this is awesome.' Dean was sitting in the sand next to Sam watching the waves roll in. The sun was just setting and it cast a golden glow over everything. They were some of the only beach goers around that time and Dean was enjoying the quietness of it all. Usually there was noise. Everywhere. All the time, whether it was Metallica blasting from the Impala, or the screech of a banshee they were hunting. It was nice to give his ears a break.

'I hear ya man.' Sam raised his beer bottle and clinked it with Dean's. Dean took a long sip and sighed in contentment. This was the life.

With the sea spray in his eyes he felt Sam start to get up. His brother wiped himself down trying to get rid of all the excess sand.

'Are you ready to go?' he asked and then gulped when he realized that Sam was taking off his shirt.

'Whatcha doing?'

Sam looked back at him and smiled. 'What's it look like? I'm going for a swim.'

'Right now?'

'Uh, yes, because that is what people generally do when they come to the beach. Why? Did you wanna build a sandcastle?'

'Shut up.'

Sam laughed and slowly walked towards the water. He was wearing a pair of white swim trunks that they had picked up earlier. Dean thought it was kinda funny, but it was the first time they had ever been to buy swim suits. They hadn't really ever needed them at the motels they were staying at because they were always concentrating on a hunt. And when they went out to Bobby's they would just skinny dip in the pond.

Dean glanced down at his own camouflage shorts. They weren't too bad he supposed. When he glanced back up he didn't see Sam. HE quickly got up to get a better vantage point. Where was he last? The water. But he had only been about waist deep; such a gargantuan couldn't have gone under. Then he looked at the waves. The gentle swells of earlier were now replaced with large thundering crashing versions of themselves. Damn it!

He raced towards the water, hitting it at full speed. He hop stepped over the parts where it was too deep to run but still too shallow to swim. The salt water got in his eyes, stinging them, rendering him unable to see. Furiously he wiped at his eyes.

'Sam!'

He dove under the waves, forcing his eyes open despite the burning sensation. But the swirling sand disturbed by the currents of the ocean made it impossible to see. He was starting to run out of breath and had to come up for air. When he broke the surface he immediately yelled his little brother's name again.

'SAM!'

'What?'

Dean turned around and there was Sam, looking fine and dandy. Not drowned at all. He quickly waded towards him.

'What the hell man!' He shoved him in the chest.

'Dean, what's your problem?' Sam was staring to get that pissed off look.

'You're my problem!'

'What did I do?'

'You weren't there.' Dean finally said.

Sam looked confused. 'I wasn't where?'

'In the ocean! I was watching you and looked away for one second and then you were gone!'

'I just dove underneath the water for a second Dean.' Sam said quietly.

'Doesn't matter. You scared the crap out of me, man.' Dean's anger was dissipating swiftly leaving him with only a feeling of relief at his brother's well being.

'Well, I'm sorry.' Dean looked up and saw Sam doing his famous puppy dog eyes at him. Gah! No fair, no fair! Sam should not be allowed to have such an adorable weapon in his arsenal! Wait. Did he say adorable? Dangerous! He meant a dangerous weapon in his arsenal!

He let out a long suffering sigh. ' S'alright.'

'We good?'

'Yeah, we're good dude.'

'Good.' Sam suddenly lunged towards him and got him in a choke hold. He then dunked him underneath the water. The little-! He was dead!

'I am so going to drown you!'

'What happened to you being worried that I did drown?'

'Moments over!'

The two boys wrestled in the water for about an hour. Soon enough they were staring to get all wrinkly and the sun was already down. The moon was out and was about three quarters full.

'Dude,' Dean was still laughing and really out of breath from all the exercise they were getting, it was tiring showing your little brother who was the boss, 'I think I'm done. You ready to hit the night scene?'

'Yeah, sounds good.' They both wearily got out of the water and finally seemed to notice that they were the only ones left on the beach. It was very quiet, with just the sounds of the waves crashing around them and the thud of their own hearts.

'Hey Dean, why didn't you ever take off your shirt? Its gonna be ruined now you know.'

Dean forced himself to answer as casually as he possibly could despite the fact that his whole body had tensed up involuntarily. 'Uh, I dunno. Guess I just forgot it.' He glanced down wearily at the black t-shirt that was now clinging to his body, showing every contour and curve.

'Oh, okay. So showers, food, and then anything else?'

'Yeah,' Dean voiced hoarsely, 'sounds good.'

Dean and Sam made their way up to their motel which was located conviently right on the ocean side. It was a good deal, considering how cheap it was despite it being above their usual standards. One of the perks of the motel was also the fact that it had two showers so neither of them had to wait on the other to get out.

Dean slipped into his bathroom and quietly shut the door. He grabbed the knobs of the shower and turned them all the way to the left, wanting the water to get as hot as possible. Slowly he first stretched his back and cracked his neck. He sighed in relief, that felt good. Hesitantly he removed his black t-shirt and stepped out of his sandy swim trunks. Steam soon filled up the tiny room and Dean stepped underneath the shower head. He could have groaned. The how water poured over his tired and tense muscles, loosening them up, and causing him to relax.

All too soon the water started to turn cold and still he didn't want to get out of the shower. HE hated this part. He tried to avoid it as much as possible but it was like he was addicted. IT was so much easier to evade in motels that didn't have mirrors in their bathrooms, but it seemed like he hadn't lucked out this time.

He wiped a hand across the condensation on the mirror, showing his face now instead of an unrecognizable blur. He slowly turned around and then looked over his shoulder. Fingers tracing his back and the thing on it, he was filled with disgust. Self loathing, revulsion, it came swelling up and rushed right into his head and heart when he saw it. He looked away. He couldn't handle it, didn't want to see it. Didn't want to be reminded. But he couldn't help but take a second look.

Bad decision. He felt bile staring to rise up in his throat and just barely made it to the toilet in time before emptying his stomach of its meager contents. Soon he was just dry heaving, but it didn't make anything hurt less, nor did he ever feel any less ashamed. Lightly he ran his fingers over the raised skin, located across his back and shoulders, and shuddered.

He deserved all of it.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Sam and Dean had both gotten themselves clean and were now decked in their finest attire. Or you know, whatever. Dean was wearing his typical jeans and a black t-shirt, his usual leather jacket surprisingly absent. It was too hot for it, even at night. Sam had chosen to be a bit fancier than usual. It was a vacation so why not? Long black dress pants clung to his lengthy legs perfectly and his white silk button down shirt had a few undone at the top. Both of course had knives strapped to their legs, and in Dean's case his leg, his right arm and his waist. Never could be too prepared.

'I want a cheeseburger.' Dean complained as they walked out of the motel.

Sam let out a bemused sigh. 'You've already had a cheeseburger today Dean.'

Dean cocked his head to the side in confusion. 'So?'

'So, it's not good for you to have that much cholesterol in one day.'

'Well thanks for the dieting tips Samantha, where did you glean that helpful little bit of information, hmm? Lemme guess, Cosmopolitan.'

Really, Dean sometimes thought that Sam was meant to be born a girl. He chuckled at the thought of that. Sam as a girl. He would most definitely be a tall one, most likely with legs that seemed to never end. Long, and perfect . . . .and that was enough of that!

He gulped a bit. And he most definitely would have a lot longer hair. He could barely get him to cut his shaggy as it was. It was soft though. When they were younger he would run his fingers through Sam's hair to get him to go to sleep. It never failed, the habit he had learned from his mother to get a kid sleepy. So Dean tried it one night when Sam wouldn't stop crying and voila, instant gratification.

When had they outgrown that habit? It must have been when Sam was around seventeen when he had suddenly asked Dean to stop doing that, claiming it was childish. That had hurt a bit and he had never stopped missing it.

'Hey, you were the one I caught reading Seventeen when we were in high school.'

'I told you that was just for research! I had to know how the female mind worked so I can use my natural charms to woo them!'

'Whatever.'

They were walking side by side along the sidewalk, not bothering to take the Impala because everything was near their motel anyway. The stars were out and shining and the night life was up and at 'em. Sam saw countless girls glance at them as they walked by, but he just ignored them. Not particularly interesting were girls when you had your own personal god walking next to you.

Dean looked particularly good tonight, it seemed to Sam. His jeans just clinged to him in all the right places. His black t-shirt was stretched a little bit tightly across his chest and shoulders, making it obvious how much muscle the man possessed. His dark blond hair was done in its usual style, but man, it looked so soft, Sam was very sorely tempted to try touching it. His hand actually rose from where it had been hanging by his side and started towards his big brother but Sam willed himself to stop. Honestly, how would Dean react to that? What could he really say? Nothing, that's what. So he kept his hands to himself.

But still, he thought with a bit of a smirk, didn't mean he couldn't enjoy the view. He glanced around to make sure no one else was looking and then turned his gaze on Dean. His big brother was wearing a slight smile, taking in all the sights and sounds, and Sam loved it. Dean didn't seem to be smiling as much as usual these days, and it was a welcome sight for sure. His eyes looked around, always assessing his surroundings, gauging the reactions of others, finding the quickest route to safety, doing what his father taught him to do. And yet, even though Dean had a world weary look rarely seen upon someone so young, a glimpse of innocence would pass through his shields every now and again. No one else could see it. Not even Bobby, Cas, or Ellen. Only he was able to discern his brother's true emotions even though Dean denied it.

Sam moved from at looking at Dean's face to his neck. His brother reached up and scratched at something just at the collar of his shirt. Sam thought he saw something barely peeking over the edge of the shirt and it was confirmed when Dean brushed against it and stiffened immediately. What was that? Maybe he was still sore from the last hunt? Dean hadn't let Sam look over him after the hunt had ended so he couldn't be one hundred percent sure that Dean wasn't hiding an injury. He would look into it tonight when they got back to the hotel.

Actually now that he thought back on it, Dean hadn't let him look over him for injuries for the past couple of months. That was weird. When it came to hunting with a partner it meant relying upon one another fully. That included when the hunt was over and there were injuries and wounds to be inspected and bandaged. He would have to talk with Dean about this as well. Man, wasn't he gonna enjoy that.

'Hey, Sam this look like an okay place?'

Dean nodded his head towards a bar that seemed to be fairly crowded. The bright neon sign out in front declared it 'The Silver Siren.' Dean laughed at that.

'Hope it's not actually run by a siren, that would suck!'

Sam smiled at that, 'Yeah, this place looks cool. Let's go.'

Dean and Sam quickly found themselves a booth located at the back, giving them the best vantage point. Dean, of course took the customary seat, facing the bar, so that he could see anything coming towards them. Sam would always be protected.

The waitress quickly came over and took their orders. Dean, predictably got a burger, and Sam, predictably, got a salad.

'Dude, we really gotta get something different every once in a while.'

'Hell no!' Dean mouthed around his food. He quickly gulped it down following a swig of beer.

'You can, all you want, I'll stick with this heavenly goodness.'

'Uh huh.'

The waitress, who had introduced herself as Cheryl, came back for the third time since getting them their food. Were they sure they didn't need any extra napkins? Surely another beer couldn't hurt? She leaned in especially close to Dean, her cleavage almost completely bared for the world to see, about five inches from his face.

'Are you sure there isn't anything I can get for you?'

Dean looked the girl over once and thought she wasn't too bad. Short light brown hair, hazel eyes, and a decent rack. But he wasn't going to flirt with any girls tonight. He had made a decision earlier in the day, right after his little conversation with the hotel clerk, that if he was in fact attracted to his own sex, then he would like to do something about it. Finding his brother hot was by no means in any way healthy, or right. So he thought by possibly finding a guy tonight he might confirm his sexual orientation and get those wrong, incestuous thoughts out of his head.

'No thanks, I think I'm good sweetheart.' He quickly dismissed her by returning to his meal. She looked a little disappointed, but then turned her sights on Sam.

Sam for the moment was in a state of shock. Had Dean just turned down a chance at a quickie? He looked at the girl, seeing what it was about her that made his brother dismiss her hidden offer so quickly. She wasn't unfortunate looking at all, he even thought she could have been a model if she put a little more effort into it, but he couldn't find anything off putting about the girl. Suddenly the girl turned towards him, a seductive smile on her face.

'What about you, sugar? Anything…special…that I can get for you.'

'He doesn't want anything either!' Sam was saved from answering by Dean's shout. The waitress and Sam wore identical expressions of surprise. Cheryl's quickly wore off and she beamed a smile at them.

'Omigosh! I'm sooo sorry! I didn't realize you two were. . . y'know? I'll go get your check now.' And with that she rushed off.

Dean and Sam were staring at each other with equal expressions of confusion.

'What just happened?'

'I don't kno-'

'Awwwwwwww.' Both of them got it at that moment and slapped their foreheads in unison. They looked at each other and grimaced though neither's heart was really into it. In fact Sam was a little bit secretly happy about them being mistaken for a couple. But he quickly pushed down his feeling of joy and reserved them in his special place in his mind, for all things Dean. Dean on the other hand was feeling extraordinarily guilty.

He had done it again; he had made an outsider think he and his brother were a couple. When would it end? Had his jealousy over her flirting been so obvious? What was the matter with him? That's it, he decided; time to find a guy to distract himself from his brother. He had to get out of here.

'Where are you going?' Sam asked his brother when he saw him get up and pull out his credit card.

'Out.' He plopped the credit card on the table and pushed in his chair.

'Hold on, I'm almost done.' Sam hurriedly tried to shove the rest of his salad down.

'No!' Dean's face looked slightly panicked as he shouted out the word. His eyes round and anxious, almost terrified if the truth be told.

Sam stopped eating and looked Dean concerned.

'What' wrong?' Sam started to get up as well, but then Dean took a step back towards the door.

'Nothing's wrong. I would just like to go one place by myself without my little brother tagging along!' Dean regretted his words immediately but there was no taking them back. Even if he didn't mean them in the slightest.

'Tagging along? You make me sound like an annoying little kid!' Sam was angry in a heartbeat and wondered what the heck was wrong with Dean.

'You are annoying! Can't a guy have two seconds to himself without you invading my personal space?! Huh?!' Dean hated himself. He knew Sam only ever cared about his well being, was only doing what their father taught them to do. But he knew he would hate himself even more if he allowed such forbidden thoughts towards his own brother to continue.

Sam was a taken back. Had he really been that bad? Sure he had kept a little closer watch on Dean since his run in with Alistair, but it was only because he had been worried about his big brother. Oh, crap. Had it been because of his feelings for Dean? Had his brother finally started to notice that there were was a little something more in his touches? A bit more intensity when he looked at him?

'I was just worried about you! Besides isn't that what we're supposed to do?! Look out for each other?!' Watch over them. Make sure he didn't get hurt. Not lust over them like a love sick school girl.

'Yes look out for each other! Not freaking suffocate them!' Sam didn't have a response. He felt like the breath had been knocked out of him.

And on that final note Dean stormed out of the bar.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean downed another shot and motioned to the bartender that he wanted one more. The man glanced warily at all of the glasses already stacked up but shrugged and got him his drink. Who was he to begrudge a man his chance to get drunk.

Dean felt the fiery liquid burning down his throat (Note: that's what she said.) and held back a grimace. What was that? His fifth or sixth one? It didn't matter he just waved to the bartender to keep them coming. HE wanted to get all out drunk, wanted to not be able to walk straight, and wanted to just plainly get so hammered that he wasn't aware of who he was anymore.

Least that had originally been the plan. He had stormed out of the Silver Siren and just started walking. Walked for a long time, and just ended up outside of a bar. He had noticed that there was a particularly large amount of men in it and had realized that it was a gay bar. He took in a deep breath, squared his shoulders and walked in. That was one part of the plan of course. Find a guy so he could get his mind off of Sammy.

He received many appreciative glances as he walked in but he didn't meet anyone's stare. He wasn't going to approach anyone himself, not that he wasn't confident, it was just because this was new territory. And in an any situation where you are the newcomer its best to sit back and take in all the information you could. So he waited for them to come to him.

Dean glanced around the dimly lit establishment, finding it surprisingly just like any other bar he had ever been in. Just a lot more guys. There was the occasional girl or two, but you could tell they weren't there for hooking up. A lot of the guys kept looking at him but he would almost glare at them, challenging them to make a move. Most of them backed down but there was one guy who held his gaze and didn't submit. He was tall, not as tall as Sam of course, but he was at least an inch or two taller than Dean. If he had to use one word to describe the man it would be surfer. He was tan, and leanly muscled with hair so blond it had to be from hours spent underneath the sun.

He sauntered away from his friends and sidled up right next to Dean on the stool beside him.

'I'll have whatever he's having.' The man nodded towards Dean, and he had to give him props because it was some strong stuff. The man took the drink and downed it in one gulp and finally turned towards Dean.

'So, now that I've got some liquid courage, lets break the ice shall we? I'm Zac…and you are?'

'Wow, you are a cheesy one aren't you?'

'And you are a very cynical and sarcastic one aren't you?'

Dean smiled slightly at that. Dude had some balls. Most would have taken a hint already and left. When he had been hit on by men in the past it was what he had done. Remained cold and cynical. But he didn't want to drive this one away, did he?'

'That I am. . . .name's Dean.'

'Pleased to meet you Dean.'

'Can't say I'm pleased to meet you yet Zac. What have I got to be pleased about?'

Zac grinned at this and leaned in closer until his mouth was right next to Dean's ear. 'Well then, I could make it very. . .pleasurable.. .for you, if you would like to get to know me better.' As he said these words Zac rested a hand on Dean's thigh and slowly rubbed it higher and higher.

Dean didn't feel the attraction he initially thought he would. He was gay right? That was why he was finding Sam attractive right? So where was the freakin lust man?!

'Yeah, that sounds good. So you wanna get outta here or what?'

'Let's just take this outside.'

'Fine with me.'

Maybe it took a little bit of time. That must be it. The attraction hadn't started up yet, he just needed to be patient. But, it hadn't been this way with girls. When he used to hook up with a girl it hadn't taken any time at all to get himself interested with her. But then again what did he know? This was going to be the first time he had never hooked up with a guy, maybe things were different.

Zac and Dean exited the bar and slowly walked side by side. He noticed that they weren't the only ones leaving the bar with potential partners. The other pairs seemed to be hanging all off each other, not being able not to touch. Yet he and Zac's shoulders barely brushed each other as they headed down an alley next to the bar. Was that normal?

Pretty quickly it got quiet in the alley they were in and soon they were the only ones around. Suddenly Zac pushed Dean up against the wall and roughly kissed him. Dean didn't know how to react. Usually with him and girls he had been the aggressor and not the other way around, and truth be told he never was one who would willingly submit to anyone. Almost angrily he flipped them so that Zac was the one beneath him.

'Wouldn't have pegged you for the dominant type.' Zac said when they paused to catch their breath.

'Why the hell not?'

Zac smirked,'Cause. . . .you're shorter.'

Zac flipped them back around again and latched onto Dean's throat. He had pinned Dean's hands to the wall and Dean was kinda just standing there, waiting. Really, wasn't he supposed to be turned on by now? He was freakin making out with a guy here, and nada, zilch. Zac pushed his right leg in between Dean's and felt something. Well Zac didn't seem to have any qualms about being turned on.

Dean was starting to think this was a bad idea. He wasn't feeling a damn thing and they had been doing some pretty heavy making out for about a half hour. He was just about to discreetly hint that he was done and not really in the mood for hooking up when Zac slipped his hand around the back of Dean's shirt collar. That didn't bother him, what did bother him was when Zac's fingers brushed lightly across the raised flesh of his shoulders. He immediately pushed him away.

'What the hell!'

Dean was breathing hard, his chest heaving as he glared at Zac. No one. No one was allowed to touch that, to see it. And he would beat anyone into oblivion who dared.

'What's wrong?'

Dean forced himself to take in a deep breath. IT wasn't the dude's fault, he hadn't known. He was just a civie who was ignorant, no need to blow up on him for something he knew nothing about. He slowly unclenched his fists.

'Sorry. It's just. . .I don't think I can do this.'

Dean started to walk away when he felt a hand land on his shoulder. He reacted without thinking, his training taking full control of his body. He felt his right hook connect with Zac's jaw knocking him to the ground. Zac looked dazed sitting there in a puddle rubbing his aching face tenderly.

'S-sorry! I just- I gotta go.'

Dean ran off leaving behind a very dazed and confused man. What just happened?

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sam had watched the retreating figure of his brother wondering how things had gotten so out of hand. They had been sitting there a few minutes earlier in a comfortable atmosphere when, bam, they were yelling at each other.

Cheryl came back a few minutes later while Sam was still brooding.

'Um, here's your check sir.'

'Uh, thanks.' Why did Dean storm out of there like that?

'Also, I wanted to say I'm sorry.'

That got Sam's attention. Why was their waitress apologizing to him?'

'Um. . .why?'

Cheryl's cheeks reddened. 'I swear I didn't know you guys were together until your partner yelled at me. I swear. I never think before I flirt. I promise I just do it because it seems to get me a little bit more tips.

'Oh, don't worry about it then, we're not together.'

'You're not?'

'Nope.' Having to say that was making Sam more depressed.

'Oh. Well then…if it's any consolation I think you guys would make a cute couple.'

Did he hear her right? He and Dean looked good together? As in together together?

'What? Why?'

Cheryl smiled at him and seemed to blush a little more.

'You know how most guys go crazy about two hot women together? It's the same with us girls. Two fine guys that are together is hot.'

And with that she wandered off. Poor Sam was just a bit more confused.

TBC…


End file.
